Test atentie distributiva online dating
Se uită la ele câtva timp fără să le atingă, apoi ia o hârtie şi un creion şi scrie câteva pagini. The bartender says, you can fart the national anthem in any key? May God be with you." But once they were past, she heard one novice say to another, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Mother Superior was surprised, but decided not to pursue it. you have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through.44. when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.54. when she was growing up she didn’t play with dolls, she played with midgets.64. when she goes to a buffet, she gets the group rate.66. Curios, se intoarce, aprinde lumina si intreaba pe cel din wc ce s-a intamplat. Chimistul combină nişte substanţe prelevate din găini, dar nici el nu ajunge la vreun rezultat.Încearcă şi fizicianul. Ea a omorat 70 dintre ei cu mitraliera pana s-au terminat gloantele. Pe ultimii 10 i-a omorat cu mainile goale.- Dumnezeule mare, spune profesoara ingrozita, si care ti-a zis tatal tau ca este morala? Uite un Opel, sa mergi cu el prin Rai.- Eu de vreo 10 ori in 20 ani de casnicie, raspunde ultimul.- Aoleu, ce rau ai fost. Dupa ceva timp, se intilnesc cel cu Loganul si cel cu Mercedesul la un stop. A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, I can fart the star spangled banner in any key you want, for a drink. He gets red faced and then shits all over the bar and the floor. As she passed the young novices, Mother Superior said, "Good morning, ladies" and the novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior. her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.37. she sat on a dollar, and when she got up there were four quarters.41. when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet.43. Primul tip, terminand ce avea de facut, la iesirea din wc stinge lumina, moment in care se aude un urlet infiorator.Un reporter intreaba o actrita celebra:- Acum, dupa o viata de glorie cinemaografica, ce credeti, cine sunt mai destepti: barbatii sau femeile? If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? - Trojan viruses Intr-un sat unguresc din Ardeal locuia un fotograf român care facea poze si portrete, dar cam nereusite, pentru ca ba ieseau de la jumatate in jos, ba cu ochii rosii, ba cine stie cum... " A mother mouse and her three children were feasting in the kitchen when she saw the cat slinking towards them, blocking their path to their mouse hole. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.4. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”6. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you? “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’”“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”“Is it common? Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.12. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)… Dis-de-dimineata, inainte de a pleca la serviciu, italianul le da celor 3 instructiunile:-Aveti aici 3 galeti de vopsea care va vor ajunde sa vopsiti tot gardul. Nu dupa mult timp, unul din ei zice:-Ma, mie mi-a venit foame, hai sa vedem ce are asta de mancare! Dupa un ospat pe cinste, romanii cauta si ceva de baut, dar nu gasesc decat apa si suc. La un moment dat, vazand ca se apropie de oras, isi face curaj si sare din masina.- Domnule reporter, ai vazut dumneata vreodata vreo femeie alergand dupa un barbat prost numai pentru ca are picioare frumoase?? (and say it isn't so...) : DUn reporter intreaba o actrita celebra:- Acum, dupa o viata de glorie cinemaografica, ce credeti, cine sunt mai destepti: barbatii sau femeile? Mother Mouse took a deep breath and, in a loud deep voice, said, "Woof! Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly.“It’s true; no bull! A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. ” The doctor replied, “I know, I amputated your arms! a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.20. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.21. In bucatarie e mancare, cand o sa va vina foame, va puteti servi. Ati vazut calul pe care il tin inchis in spatele curtii? Atunci, unul dintre ei zice:-Ma, stiu eu cum sa facem rost de bautura. Intra in primul bar care ai iese in cale si, ud si inspaimantat, cere 2 pahare de vodca si incepe sa le povesteasca celor din bar experienta groaznica prin care a trecut.
Un baiat ajunge acasa de la scoala si ii spune tatalui sau:- Tata, m-am hotarat ce o sa fac cand cresc mare! Noaptea la ora 12 fix vine dracu` si ii bate un cui in cur omului. Avocatul: Doctore, cate din autopsiile pe care le-ai facut au fost pe oameni morti? Morala este sa nu iti numeri gainile inainte de a fi clocite ouale- Foarte bine replica din nou profesoara, multumita de ce auzise pana aici.. - Da tata,pentru ca Strul are o bicicleta si nu stiu ce sa fac,sa i-o fur sau sa negociez cu el? They finally agree to meet at the Hofbrau House, because they've never been there before! "Don't be silly," he replied, "if you wore size 32 briefs they'd crush your testicles into the base of your spine and you'd have massive migraines."fractal wrongness The state of being wrong at every conceivable scale of resolution. Martorul: Daca nu, in mod sigur a fost pana am terminat autopsia! Martorul: Dar dumneata chiar esti calificat sa pui intrebari? A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..' The man was astonished and asked, ' So what do I do with these? Intr-o zi am mers la piata cu o gramada de oua asezate intr-un cos de nuiele impletite,cos asezat pe scaunul din fata al camionului. "Oh yes, please."The tailor then said "if you'd like, I can also custom order you some size 34 silk boxers."The man grinned. I wear size 32 briefs."The tailor looked at him accusingly. Avocatul: Doctore, inainte sa faci autopsia, ai cautat sa vezi daca mai avea puls? The doctor said, ' Well, you need three things. A doua zi, in ora respectiva, Cristian a dat urmatorul exemplu:- Tatal meu este fermier si crestem gaini. Dar se aplică numai pentru găini sferice aflate în vid. Dintr-o dată s-au îmbolnăvit toate şi nu ştia ce au. They exchanged pleasantries, but again she heard them whisper, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." She wondered if she had been harsh with them and vowed to be more pleasant. They exchanged greetings but Sister Mary added right to her face, "Looks like you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Mother Superior was floored. Three times this morning someone has said that about me." Sister Mary looked Mother Superior in the eye. It's just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers! she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of March.8. she got hit by a VW and had to go to the hospital to have it removed.12. when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t get a menu, she gets an estimate.18. when she wears a yellow raincoat people holler, “Taxi.”46. you have to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.58. she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington’s nose.60. she put on some BVDs and by the time she got them on, they spelled “boulevard.”70. when she’s standing on the corner police drive by and yell, “Hey, break it up.”74. when she runs the fifty-yard dash she needs an overnight bag.80. she gets her toenails painted at Lucky’s Auto Body.82. O tipă măritată, într-o seară, când soţul era plecat într-o delegaţie, şi-o trăgea cu trei indivizi în acelaşi timp. " She said, "I'd take half and then leave you." "Good answer," he replied. It's 3 PM." The cowboy rode on until he came upon third naked Indian, lying on his back and masturbating. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. În sfârşit după câteva calcule complicate exclamă:"Am găsit o soluţie! Soon she passed two sisters who had taught there for years. when she tripped over on Fourth Avenue, she landed on Twelfth.3. when she talks to herself, it’s a long distance call.5. whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.7. when she was walking down the street and I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.23. when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy’s word for it.25. when she goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.45. when she wears a Malcolm X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back.51. her graduation picture was an aerial photograph.55. she left the house in high heels, and when she came back she had on flip-flops.57. she doesn’t eat with a fork, she eats with a forklift.67. the last time the landlord saw her, he doubled the rent.69. the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.73. A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting. The physicist does some basic ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle, and shoots. The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, lifts his rifle slightly higher, and shoots. Acesta, vizibil speriat raspunde:-Am crezut ca mi-au sarit ochii! La un moment dat, uşa se deschide la perete şi apare… Ea, cu ultimele puteri şi în culmea extazului, ia o gură de vodka, apoi se uită la bărba-su şi zice:- Şi acum, sigur, iar începem: bănuieli, suspiciuni, discuţii…A husband asked his wife, "What would you do if I won the Lotto? " An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines.